“In Love Again”

“In Love Again”.

“In Love Again”

Hello My Friends and Happy New Years!

Its been a while since I’ve published a story.

I sure do miss all of you.

After being a member of WordPress for so long you sort of start thinking of your followers and those you follow as part of a family.

Here we are open to publish our stories Worldwide, share our pictures, get to travel to the amazing places around the World…We even have the opportunity to choose the category we want to write about and so much more. This is my home…Away from home.

A lot of things have changed around here at WordPress, nice; I like it.

I definitely have a whole lot of catching up to do with you all, I’m looking forward to it.

I am going to share a story with you, and this story is different from all the others I’ve written.

For a while now I have been waiting to come back out to the surface…but before I did, I wanted to make sure I was prepared to publish my story.

I am a writer, a writer of the truth. I take my time to put my words together. I take what I do and say very seriously. I know how to accept criticism as well as sarcasm. I’m kind and humble, I’m always willing to lend a hand without any hesitation. I’ve been taken advantage of in numerous of occasions only because I think with my heart instead of using my head, but, I’m writing a separate book for those who have taken that route with me.”what goes around comes around” and then some.

I know and understand that in the world of Bloggers and Journalists you either got it or you don’t…you stand tall or you fall…its just the way it goes…that’s a chance we have to take. I love this world. I am happy just to feel my fingers typing, knowing I have something to say and share with you. I’ve been writing for so long, I can’t even begin to tell you how many years it’s been.  I love this environment, the people who share the same feeling as me should understand how great this feeling is.  I love it here because of your great attitudes and positive ways of thinking, we don’t actually have to personally know one another to share the same feelings or appreciate each others work. I love the atmosphere, and how some of you still feel the same way I do about books, we miss the way a book feels when you hold it in your hands, the feel of the pages, the smell. We are Writers, Journalists we love a story just as much as the next person. We love it all! Pretty simple.

Here is where I begin…

For all those who love to dream with your eyes open…It’s possible here…You can be a dreamer, you can be royal, you can wear diamonds or maybe crystals, you can live any fantasy, you don’t come here for money, just to share what you have with the world. Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone wants to spread their wings. So, spread them as far as you can and dream, make those dreams reality.

Don’t forget is never too late to dream. Remember, everything is possible.

“LOVE”

Is anyone out there ready to fall in love again?

We all make mistakes…we are not perfect or meant to be perfect…right?

Sometimes we say or do things we wish we hadn’t said or done…Now, the purpose of fixing “whatever those mistakes are” in a commitment/relationship…is not arguing about it…communication its the key…being able to talk without arguing and allowing your partner to speak without interruption, listening to each other and trust.   Never repeating the same mistake twice…is learning from it. There are many keys to a healthy relationship and believe me I just found out recently that its the best feeling in the world to know that love is really beautiful and healthy when you have the main ingredients.

Remember Bob Marley’s song “Don’t worry be happy” put a smile on your face because whatever it is, will soon pass. I want you to know that where is love life begins.

I read somewhere out there that you need to let yourself  dream a little everyday, explore the possibilities and embrace options as they come your way. Believe me it will happen.

Just have a little bit of faith, believe in yourself and don’t worry everyone has a reward awaiting for them. Hold yourself up, don’t be afraid to close your eyes, love is waiting for you. Sometimes, the reward is greater than what you expected it to be, it may take longer for delivery but its worth the wait.

Let me tell you what happened to me.

To begin…OK, writers block…LOL…A little nervous…Not…I’m breathing heavy right now, palms are sweating…I’m lost for words right now…don’t know where to begin…Gotcha!!!

I’m just being humorous, its part of the new me… and I  love it!!! there’s been many changes in my life…all of these changes have been for the better.

First, I am grateful to God for loving me and for being alive also for making it though another year, believe me 2013 was a rough one. I am happy because I’m able to breathe easier and without stress,  I am thankful for my beautiful children because they have been the biggest blessing in my life,  I’m thankful for my adoptive parents Melanie and Sid, they have been an inspiration and great support in my life, since they’ve been part of my family I can say I know what it feels like to have real parents. (I love you Mama and Poppa). my home which I almost lost, but by the helping hand of God who kept me strong & my family who didn’t leave my side, they brought it back to the way it used to be and by working together as a team getting all the legal paperwork in place, putting the house back into shape inside and out, (Thank you guys, I am fortunate to have you in my life.) I was able to regain control of my home and take possession of it.  I’m comfortable now and sleeping safely.

Now, God knew what my heart was missing, how so many times I prayed for someone to hold me.  I was afraid to let go of my pride and admit I was empty inside, cried myself to sleep almost every night for years wishing I had someone there with me. I had my share of bad relationships in the past and had gave up on love.  I was lonely and needed someone to change my life around, I thought that was never going to happen for me.

But, I have to say, I was wrong;

Thank You God for sending me an amazing man who has rescued me from the mess I was in, makes my life complete, when he smiles at me I see love in his eyes.  I live the life I always dreamed because of him, he has transformed me from being a negative person, into someone who knows now that anything can happen as long as you believe in yourself. He accepts me for me and respects my opinions, most of all he loves my kids. He was there to help me regain my strengths when I felt I was loosing it all, and kept by my side even after many tried to keep him apart. Thank you.

“In Love Again”, is a short story about how I found real love after years of believing it wasn’t possible. One particular part of my life you already know, if you read my book “I am a Survivor”.  I can finally say the cycle has been broken. That part of my life no longer exists.

I used to fear my past because of the a bitter taste it left me with and falling in love was the last thing on my mind, but when I met Jorge, I looked into his eyes and knew right away he was different. I realized that in order to move on with my life and come back to reality, I needed to make changes and start a new life. I needed to find the way to fill the emptiness I had in my heart.

I had to let go of my past and bury it completely if I wanted to move on.

For years I was walking around with half a heart and no one to fill that empty spot, everyone who came around me was negative, bringing nothing but bad energy into my home and around my children. Many tried to open my eyes to what was real in my life, but I just couldn’t see. I needed to start listening to the positive voices around me, instead of the negative ones. Until Jorge started talking to me and began to open my eyes to reality, I didn’t like what I saw, more the less liked what I heard, but coming from him sounded so much different than from anyone else. I  noticed that after so long of waiting for a miracle, and hearing everyone who cared about me telling me to be strong, I would make it through my fears, because fear was just,”False Evidence Appearing Real.” in the end the only one left was my true love, telling me I am here to stay.

Some people say, it’s impossible to fall in-love or even find someone who you can trust after being in an unhealthy relationship, again I tell you, this is not at all the truth. You can fall in love again.

I realized that when you are not looking, or seeking, the moment will come to you. God gave me a second chance at love.

I thought I had it all, but I was waiting for him, cupid stroke me hard when I met Jorge.

Meet Jorge…

A new life started for Terry, Michael and I when Jorge came into our lives, where there was darkness, weakness and sadness there he was, at the perfect time to change our life’s, bright up our day and bring us happiness.

I found a good man, a loving man, someone who I can trust, hold a conversation with and not worry about him telling me I talk too much. He enjoys my company and tells me how beautiful I look all the time, even on my worst days. He freed me from the emptiness and sadness I was living in, bringing me back to the surface and right back to my feet. He has helped me face all my fears, including the fears of loving again, he reminded me of how beautiful love is, breaking those chains that were holding me down so tightly by showing me the meaning of real love and understanding.

He showed me that things are only as complicated as I make them seam not as they appear to be, that whatever doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger, never to allow anyone to tell me any different. He thought me to be grateful for being alive and to love every second, every minute of the hour because only I have the power to control my life and the way I feel. He told me be a mother first before I can be a woman and then everything will fall into place, he said that I was the master of my mind, my body and my soul and no one can control who I am.

“In Love Again” will describe how this was possible. When I thought everything wasn’t, my dreams all became reality.

In February 2012, I found love again!

This story is about two souls who found each other by the faith of God, one changing the life of the other completely for the best,removing her from the cycle she was in for so long, making her stronger, confident, showing her how to live life to the fullest without regrets and the other helping her soul mate find peace in his heart, teaching him what love is really all about, giving him what he always wanted…A Family.

It was 7:30 am on Monday February 20th, I woke up when I heard the sound of a Van in front of my house…in a hurry I got out of bed and started getting ready for my doctors visit…being that I had an appointment and had overslept…it was then when I heard a knock on the front door…I hurried to see who it was since my driver never knocks I figured it was someone else, then I saw him…Standing by my door…the company had send me a new driver…I slightly opened the door…He introduced himself very politely,

“Hi, I’m JORGE your new driver” I’ll be waiting for you outside.

I remember being in my room and for the first time in my life, I am thinking; what am I doing? I am going through my clothes and I have nothing to wear. I am only going to the doctors, (hello therapy, physical therapy) I need to be wearing some sneakers and sweat pants now), and here I am trying to look sexy,

weighing 278 pounds 5 feet 7 shame on me…what was I thinking…

I was trying to look pretty for a Medical Transporter.

As I walked out the door, and headed towards the van he held the door open for me, from that moment I knew he was different from all the other drivers…he was polite, respectful, he actually had manners. As we headed out of my parking lot, he made me feel comfortable by setting the radio to my favorite station and we began to be acquainted with each-other immediately.

It was a pleasant ride to my doctors visit, after getting acquainted with each other there was a sudden silence as we waited by a red light just about 10 minutes to the doctors office, then he spoke. His first questions was; do you have any children? I looked at him and smiled, and I said yes, the conversation began there…It was all about the kids, I noticed there was no wedding ring on his finger but of course that doesn’t mean there’s no marriage so I didn’t bother to ask, I wanted to wait a little longer before I ruined the moment of pleasantness, its not all the time you have a nice looking man with a passion to hear great stories about your kids hold a conversation with you. We shared a few laughs and talked about our country foods, the most embarrassing things my kids ever did to me in public and most importantly to him which I noticed right away was, how did I handled it. Before I noticed he was pulling in front of the doctors office, my ride was over.

During my therapy section I was eager to finish just to see Jorge again. I wanted to take that ride home with him, I know I sound desperate but it was just the attention and the conversation, his sense of humor, that great feeling I felt when he made me laugh so hard at one point during our ride to the clinic until my stomach hurt, it make my heart jump. The feeling I had when I saw his eyes.  I saw kindness, I saw reality. I saw true love for the first time in years.

I was done with physical therapy and called to be picked up, I was disappointed not to see Jorge return for me, I was really hoping to see him again. My regular driver came back instead, I was going to ask him what happened with Jorge but I didn’t dare.  As I got into the van and buckled my seat belt the driver asked me;

So, how did you like Jorge?

me: He was very polite and friendly, I think we going to get along just fine. What happened to him? why didn’t he come back to get me?

driver: he was stuck picking up another patient and your wait for pick up probably would of being more than 30 minutes, so he asked me to come for you instead since I was only minutes away.

me: Oh, OK, that was thoughtful of him, I like that.

driver: yes, it was, I think Jorge took a liking to you Mrs. Moreno

me: why do you say that?

driver: he’s not like that with everyone else.

I was quiet for the rest of the ride home thinking about what my driver has said and trying hard not to ask him any questions about Jorge, I was good enough for me about the volunteer information I had just received and I wanted to leave just like that.  As we arrived to my house my driver informed me that Jorge was going to be taking his route  from now own which would make him my permanent driver.  I didn’t want to show him to excitement I was feeling inside so instead I replied with;

Oh, really, Wow…after all this time…I’m going to miss you, I wish well, hope to see you around, and walked away.

After that day everything stared, I had something to look forward to, although it was going to the doctors all the time at least I knew the company I was in was a pleasant one.  Jorge was now picking me up for a few months and I always got to sit in the front seat if there was no one in the van, he takes good care of his patients and treats them with love and compassion, if they are older and cannot seat in the back he tells me, sorry but my co-pilot is coming and I need them right here with me so can you please take the back seat, he always get’s out of the van and opens the door for them, old or young.  He never forgets to say “Good Morning” or “Good Afternoon”, “Have a nice day”, and when they are mean and nasty he says “God bless you Papi or Mami” “Hope you have a Great Day”!!! which he hardly ever gets any of those.  He loves his job.

I will never forget the words Jorge said to me which started the change in my health and made it better. Majority of the people he picks up are older and have major issues. Some can’t even hardly walk, the other half are in wheelchairs. This is what Jorge said;

Jorge: Mrs. Moreno, can I ask you a question? and only one because if I ask you more than one you might charge me and then I’m in trouble.

me: I laughed…of course.

Jorge: Why so many doctors, I’ve been taken you to appointments now for a few months and I don’t see nothing wrong with you, I mean I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward or anything but, you look fine to me, really fine to me, I like you, I think you are a very beautiful woman and I see noting wrong with you, then he turned around and asked the opinion to another patient who was traveling with us.

me: I’m a diabetic, I suffer of high blood pressure, had a heart attack, have migraines that enable me from seeing sometimes because the pain is so extreme, that’s why I see a neurologist and some other stuff.

(He started laughing, I just looked at him and I didn’t know what to think I thought he was making fun of me and I was starting to feel awkward, I felt like crying.) then he said;

Jorge: Sweetie, let me tell you something, first I apologize for laughing, second in this world everything is about money, and if you have someone out there wants it, are you with me?

I just looked at him and felt so confused….

me: I don’t see your point you’re being mean right now, you’re making fun of me. I’m really sick, I do have all these problems.

Jorge: OK, you might have some of all those problems but not all of them, and many of them are mental.

me: are you calling me crazy?

Jorge: No, just a hypochondriac

me: are you serious?

Jorge: yes, someone has to tell you the truth. might us well be me.

There was a pause for a while, he dropped off the patient at his home and when he returned back to the van I was livid, and ready to begin an argument.

me: with all due respect, who gives you the right to judge me?  how dare you make fun of me in front of a total stranger.

Jorge: sweetie, sweetie, calm down, take a deep breath and don’t yell I’m right here sitting next to you, there’s no reason to get loud and if you want to discuss what happened we can do it now openly and freely.

me: you started this, so you tell me what did you mean by calling me a hypochondriac.

Jorge: have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?

me: why? what does that have to do with anything?

Jorge: everything. If you can’t love yourself for who you are and accept yourself how would you feel? you need to change all the things that make you feel sick, all the negative things in your life, get rid of them, look at yourself in the mirror and say yesterday is gone and today is the beginning of a new day and fight for now. If you work on what you need to survive you will stay focus on the main issues like your diabetes and your heart, then you know what needs to be done to avoid being sick everyday or waiting for a heart attack to strike. If you know you overweight, then you know that eating healthy and walking, swimming or exercising can help reduce those risks can help you then use your mind and those sources which you have on hand and do them. Jeannette your problems are more mental than you think.

me: why do you say that? I don’t think I’m crazy.

Jorge: did I use the word crazy at all during the entire conversation we just had?

me: No, I don’t think so.

Jorge: were you listening to me at all?

me: Yes, maybe. halfway there.

He paused and took a deep breath…

Jorge: Jeannette, I like you, I really like you, it’s been 4 months since we have known each other, you know everything about me and I know everything about you, well almost everything. I want to help you understand that sometimes in life what appears to be real to you may not be, its only real because you have allowed it to be for that moment because you feel its an alternative, being sick is not an alternative, being alive and healthy for your children is, and is a responsibility, living is something to look forward to, if you’re sick you are not good for them because you can’t help them, what are you teaching them? its negative and a vibe you need to examine and eliminate, only you can do this. Its the advise I offer you for now.

me: will you help me stay focus and not loose track if I choose to make the changes?

Jorge: I promise to be there every step of the way for your kids and for you.

It’s been over 2 years now since the day Jorge made me that promise…And…

Here I am, a change woman, no stress 165 pounds healthier, no longer taking cholesterol medication, my endocrinologist says my sugar levels never looked better I’m no longer taking insulin as many times as I did before only one time at bedtime 10 units. I am happy. 

Every day since I met him I have regain my strengths, he has brought joy to our lives, he has made all the wrongs, right and became my voice when I couldn’t speak. I am blessed for having him in our life’s.  He has been the light in my darkness shining through, I’m in a better place because of his love for me.

This is my son Michael with Jorge.

On this day,  Jorge decided to take us for a ride and pick up something to eat. I remember him asking Michael;

Jorge: have you ever seen an alligator up close?

Michael: No, I don’t think I ever want to see want either, I’ll have a heart-attack.

Jorge: Nonsense, they are cute and tough looking, guess what I know a place where we can get close and personal with them.

And sure enough, he took us there.

You should of seen Michael’s face it was like, “what no way, I don’t think so, those thinks eat people”..and then…he saw Mr. Alligator here and tried to run, then…

Jorge said: hold it, wait one second read that sign over there…

these guys who work here are professionals…Michael recognized the name “Gator Boys” from the TV show, and was like “cool can we meet them”?

Jorge said: We can do better than that, we can see the show, let’s go…At first Michael wasn’t so thrill about the whole alligator thing and Jorge made it so much better for him…it was really nice after that.The show was crazy cool, ~~I would never attempt this myself. Michael loved the show, he now likes Alligators and loves the Everglades…It’s a very nice place to visit with the family, great environment…look what I found I loved it… beautiful right?

Michael is happy knowing he has someone in his life who he can confide in, someone who understands him most importantly Jorge its there for him whenever he needs him. Michael knows he can speak to him without hesitation about anything and Jorge is always ready to listen.  

Jorge has become a big part in my Son’s life. He has thought him to be confident and to believe in himself. He has shown him support stands by his side at every given moment. He has become Michael’s closest friend.

I always asked myself when will my turn to happiness come? Then I realized that when God was ready to make my dreams come true, I was going to know. Jorge was part of those dreams, I fell in love again, “real love”.

I heard so many people say different things, like; you trying too hard, he’s not the right man for you, wait for for a sign, you’re too old to start looking for romance, look at your past failures, relationships are not for you, you should wait for your kids to get married and leave.  It felt like they were trying to shattered my dreams just because they saw me moving forward with my life, but I knew that this was my time.  Sometimes when I happened to be praying or asking God for a solution to my problems or an answer to a question I seek, I looked up at the sky, and I will see these amazing things come out of nowhere….Take a look…

an aurora in mid-day how beautiful is that? whatever my question was at time it was an answer with this magnificent aurora which developed right before my eyes and I was reassured that I was going to be just fine.  The weather that day was beautiful there was no need for an aurora, and it was only around 3 P.M

I have to be thankful for all the beauty around me.

Meet Terry, she’s my Princess.

Each and every day we are making way for bigger and better things. Together we have overcome the most intense obstacles that retained us from making our lives complete.

She has fought a fight from the very start to survive for her own life, she was my miracle and again another story…

She encouraged me to stay positive through this relationship and to focus on my happiness…She really likes Jorge, she was the first one to approve of him.

I recall ease dropping through the air vents one time…(hey kids if you reading this, I only did this one time) well not purposely…I happened to be standing directly underneath it in my room and it sort of traveled and so I heard Michael telling her…

Michael: Terry, you better not mess this up for us…

Terry: mess what up? I like Jorge

Michael: me too, he is different and he is nice to me.

Terry: Don’t worry.  I wont mess it up this time, Jorge is staying. He is good to mom, and he is good to you and me.

I don’t quite understand what he meant by that and or what she meant. I’m not sure about the purpose of the comment nor what they were talking about and I don’t want to know.

 Terry has a strong character, sometimes she can be difficult to even talk to…but Jorge has shown me that no matter how difficult kids can be, taking your time to stop and listen to what they have to say is worth all the time in the world. We need to set time aside from our busy schedules and listen to our children. When you start listening, really listening, they start delivering what you have been asking for a long time.

Our kids are beautiful, perfect inside and outside, even if they have the worst issues and they may seem unfix-able they can be fixed, nothing should ever be left half way done, or for tomorrow when you can do it today.

Terry can always count on Jorge to listen to, he never judges her or makes her feel inferior. Every conversation always begins with Terry go get your mom, she has to be here for this…No matter what it is, he has showed them both that they can count on him, but trust is one major key, and don’t ever lie.

weekends are always fun with Jorge, we always have somewhere to go…either visit family or go out to the beach, we always go out as a family.

Jorge has inspired my children, has taught them to love each other and learn how to respect life.

Jorge’s Mother, Maria, is 93 years old and she is full of life.

 Being around Maria and their family, and seeing them together has helps us understand how important and healthier the love for a mother and the love for her children is…this love is unconditional…to be able to communicate with family, is love without a doubt, to understand one another rather than arguing is always going to be one of the main keys… Everything is so different since they have become part of our family.

Jorge and I are happy, he completes me and I complete him.

To conclude this story, I am no longer waking up to ashes or dust or breathing toxic chemicals…I have the best times of my life with the most amazing man who not only rescued me but became my counselor, my trainer, my nutritionist, my best friend and the love of my life…I’ve moved on.  I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, loved like I deserve to be loved, and at peace with my heart.

World meet Jorge Cabrera….The man who saved me from myself destruction. Which was where I was heading.

I want to dedicate a song to Jorge, I chosen this one carefully out of many beautiful lyrics out there, and this one has every single word and meaning of what our relationship represents. “Because You Loved Me” By: Celine Dion

Until next time I had a hair cut a few weeks ago…Hope you like it…I’m posting the first picture here, no one has seen it yet.

Hope you Enjoy our story and remember dreams do come true…Love is out there, don’t loose hope. I didn’t give up on love even though I had my share of bad relationships, and look what happened Cupid struck…..

Feel free to leave your comments, I will be happy to reply…you now the drill…Take care…and Thank you for reading…~JM~