This is my story

21 Mar

Hello World!!!

My name is Jeannette Moreno, Author/writer

I am a mother of two, a twenty year old girl and a thirteen year old teenager boy.  I live in a beautiful city where the grass is always green and the sun is always shining, although sometimes it rains for days at the time, I still love my city.  I have a good man in my life for two years now who accepts me for who I am and love’s my children as if they were his own.  He has shown us that love still exist and is unconditional.

Even though my life is beautiful right now it wasn’t always that way.  I was married for many years to a man whom I thought he was my prince charming.  My love for him was real and I believed he would love me forever, I think he did but his love was not my kind of love.  In the beginning our love was like a fairy-tale even from the day we met, we fell for each other like reckless teenagers, he was fascinating to me, then suddenly months later the abusive signs began; the jealously started, before you knew it I was pregnant with out first child, we got married I was 19 years old he was 24.

My marriage was not the fantasy dream I once had, it was nothing compared to the stories I read as a child and he sure was not my prince charming.  As the years went by I experienced many forms of abuse in his hands,  including protecting my daughter from being abused as well by her own father just because she was trying to stop him from beating me.  Fracture bones, broken nose, dislocate shoulders, and so much more.  He made me fear him by threatening to take the kids away from me if I ever left him or told anyone of his abusive behavior.

The children often felt anxious, scared and angry, specially my daughter who had been witnessing the abuse since early in age.  At the same time my kids felt confused by their father because he would manipulate them.  He would use my daughter because she was older and made her feel affection, loyalty and love for him.  It is normal for a child to feel this way after all the perpetrator is their father.  My daughter knew that the abuse was wrong and she felt responsible for protecting me at the same time experiencing confusion and resentment towards me for putting up with it.

The life we lived and the pain we had to suffer was enough for me to find the strength and courage after being threaten by the family that they will take away my kids if I didn’t run from him, to seek help and finally leave the abusive life I was living.  Even though I survived his abusive behavior I still carry the scars to remind me everyday of what I had to deal with.  Some of my scars are visible, the others are internal scars which he has inflicted deep in my soul giving me the strengths to carry on each and every day.

My main goal has been to give my children a safe and positive life teaching them that “LOVE IS NOT PAIN”.  I have come a long way after the everyday nightmares I had to face, every now and then the nightmares return to hunt me.  My first book “I am a Survivor” is an Autobiography  about my abuse and how it began.  When I wrote this book I wrote this book with tears in my eyes as I had to relive every single moment of my hurtful life.  I wanted to write my story to share it with the world, I need it to spread the word about abuse, I wanted my voice to be heard.  Wanting to be free from his pain was something I wanted to do for a very long time but doing it was not easy.  If I knew of all the places and resources that are out there ready and open to help the victims of abuse , I wouldn’t have waited as long as I did.

My love and concern for my kids inspired me to fight against domestic violence and child abuse around the world.  Everyday there have been reports of abuse around the world.  I was doing some research about psychology when I came across a topic that scared me tremendously, what I found was 10 alarming facts about domestic violence and how impacts our children.

The estimate is more than 275 million children worldwide who are experiencing violence in their home, it is being called one of the most pervasive human rights challenges of our time.  Can you imagine if all these children lived in one country? It would be the size of Western Europe.  3.3 million children experience domestic violence each year in the U.S.  40 million of these children grow up.  40 million adults are living with the devastating falsehoods that become the foundation of their childhood memories, the foundation of their lives, 63% of all boys who commit murder KILL, the man who was abusing their mother.

The single biggest predator of girls becoming victims of domestic violence later in life is whether of not they grow up in a home where there is domestic abuse being experienced.  Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are physically abused or seriously neglected.  There are 1500% higher than the national average.  Their memories are so severe that they meet the clinical criteria for Post traumatic Stress Disorder.  It’s hard to see your children have to be submitted to all sorts of medications because she tried to take her life away.  “Many children rather themselves be hit than allow their mothers to be beaten”. Its easier to bear the physical pain than the emotional hurt and feelings of helplessness.

My heart cries just knowing that there’s  not a whole lot’s being done to help protect and save our woman/children/men from the abuse.    How many more life’s need to be lost before the voices are heard?

STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!!!STOP IT NOW!!!!NO MORE PAIN

My name is Jeannette Moreno; I am a Survivor of Domestic Violence

http://www.amazon.com/I-am-Survivor-Jeannette-Moreno/dp/145350351X

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-am-a-survivor-jeannette-moreno/1022640158

http://www.booksamillion.com/p/Am-Survivor/Jeannette-Moreno/9781453503515?id=5322682908302

http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/i-am-a-survivor/id496522921?mt=11

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4 Responses to “This is my story”

  1. Esther Mercado March 21, 2012 at 1:08 pm #

    It’s so sad to know that this was happening in my family. I guess we see things different when we don’t see what happens behind the closed doors. Unfortunately we come to realize there was abuse going on sometimes when it’s too late to do something about it. I’m glad you found the strength to get out and get help. We also as victims don’t realize that abuse isn’t just in the form of violence, although you may not be physically abused you can be mentally. WORDS do harm you, they can destroy a person psychologically speaking. I pray that everyone that reads Jeannettes story and is in some type of abusive situation find the courage and strength to do something about it before it’s too late. Thank you Jeannette for sharing your story.

    • jeannettemoreno March 25, 2012 at 11:19 pm #

      Dear Esther,
      I am sorry that I kept most of the abuse hidden from the family. It was not done by choice, but for my protection as well as the people in my life whom I loved. When we are behind closed doors no one knows what goes on. It’s not easy explaining how the bruises got there, but making up the excuses seamed to be the best solution. When it was time to call it quits and run from my nightmare even though I understand it have been a little too late, but, I am glad that I had the support of a wonderful family. You have no idea how afraid I was to tell.
      You are absolutely right in regards to abuse and the many forms it presents itself, and I knowing the facts and living that horrible nightmare for the years I did, have come to realization that someone needs to stand up for the rights of all those victims who can’t stand for themselves.
      I want to thank you for your support, not only for helping me stand up for what I believe but for being part of my family.

      -Jeannette

  2. barbara fifield March 25, 2012 at 10:37 pm #

    I lived in an abusive marriage for 20 years, but finally left him with our teenage daughter. My son was in first year of college. I later went back to school and received a Master’s Degree in Social Work and concentrated on families and abused mothers. I am now retired from that and am writing an autobiographical novel about this called, “Letting Go.” I should be finished with it by next year. Thankfully, though, I met another man after I left my first husband and we were together for 19 years before he passed away from cancer. That part was sad as my second husband and I really got along and he was very supportive. My first husband is married to his third wife. He abuses her, also. I feel sorry for her but I realize you have to want to leave enough to take that chance. Barbara

    • jeannettemoreno March 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm #

      Hello Barbara,

      I will first like to congratulate you on your accomplishments. The fact that you had to live in an abusive marriage for as long as you did, and still find the strengths to move forward with your life is a part of healing. However, I have to ask you a question- Why did you leave your kids with him? and where are they now?
      Every survivor’s story is a different experience of abuse, and I will like to read yours. I am sorry to hear that after finally finding love again, by an unfortunate twist of fate he’s gone from you. Just remember him and the good memories he helped you build, the support he showed you as well. Maybe you can one day write a book about him.
      About your perpetrator’s new wife, I can honestly say, I agree with you, I know how she most be feeling because we have walked a mile in her shoes. I am also aware of my ex’s partner new wife and the issues she’s experiencing with him. There’s not much we can do but to spread the word about “AWARENESS” and hope our voices are heard.

      I want to thank you for sharing your story with me. I am looking forward for the release of “Letting Go” and I wish you good luck on your journey.

      Sincerely,

      -Jeannette

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